When people say, “you just know” I have to say that that is really true. I knew after our first kiss, when we were telling each other goodbye for the 80th time (because neither of us wanted to say goodbye) standing at my front door, that he was the one. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking that at 17, I can’t possibly have “known” that he was the one, but I assure you I felt “it”!
We started dating when I was a senior in high school and he was a sophomore. We made it through high school and then college ~ of course we had the typical spats, break-ups then get back together, etc and after 5.5 years of dating we got married in 1997. We know we are not in the “norm” if you will, of high school sweethearts making it to the alter and further, we are not in the “norm” of making it 17.5 years married. In reality we are not “normal” (in the general since of the word anyhow) ~ we are crazy in and about life! How fun would normal be? Well my normal is AWESOME! My life is awesome because I am grounded in my faith and my husband and I have built our relationship with God at the head of it….that may or may not be normal for you, but I encourage you try my normal…..what do you have to lose, normality or in some cases abnormality? =)
Anyway, my husband and I have often been told and teased that we are a “perfect couple with a perfect marriage”. I assure you our relationship isn’t perfect ~ no relationship is perfect. Without God in our relationship we wouldn’t be where we are today and I also believe that God guided our relationship from the beginning. He put it in our hearts 22 years ago to chose to grow up and mature with each other, and because of our choosing that, our relationship continues to blossom all along the way.
We are two different people with somewhat different approaches to and about life. And, oh, how easy it would be to list all our differences ~ he likes the toilet paper rolling on top, I like it on the bottom ~ but I stop the there. Why will I stop? I will stop because that is how negativity begins within us about our other half and true love isn’t about two people finding the perfect match, or as some say a soul mate, in one another. Rather true love is about people making the choice to be a match and not focusing on the negative things about the other BUT they are not to be considered our soul mate, God is our soul mate as our soul belongs to Him. All these things are a decision….our choice.
17 years ago I made a choice before God, family and friends to love my husband for better or worse AND believe me there have been both, in sickness and health AND sickness has riddled us, for richer or poorer AND boy have we been poor BUT in all honesty I love my him more now than I did 17 years ago, more than I ever thought possible! I still get those butterflies that I felt when we shared that first kiss at my front door 22 years ago.
Our marriage is us CHOOSING to stick with each other in all our humanness……..we DO make mistakes, we DO have bad days, we DO sometimes make each other VERY angry, and sometimes we DO hurt each others feelings. But for each of those negative things, there are twice as many positives! True love is choosing to bite my tongue when I would love to spout off, choosing to not nag when the cap on the toothpaste hasn’t been put back on in 3 days, choosing to encourage each other even when we are both feeling pressured, and choosing to not speak badly of the other no matter what. Do we always follow this pattern of true love? No, we don’t, because we are human ~ BUT we know what is in each others heart ~ TRUE LOVE for God and each other!
My marriage is very sacred to me ~ my husband is the one I choose, my true love, and our marriage is our sacred “perfection” (perfection in our non-perfect ways)!