You see, I am a recovering Eating Disorder gal (more on that issue at a later time) and was told at the age of 18, that it would be nothing short of a miracle if I could have children. Well as you can tell and see from my family picture at the bottom of my blog, I have 3 kiddos. All 3 of my kids are miracle in and of themselves however my third pregnancy is truly that, a miracle!
After having our second baby, my husband and I weren’t really sure if we wanted anymore. However, when our baby was 3, we both had that “feeling” that someone was missing, that our family just wasn’t quite complete…..so we started trying for a 3rd. After 2 years and no luck, my dad (and my mom too but she wasn’t as voiceturous as dad about the sex) desperately wanted us to have a little girl so he kept hinting that we adopt.
I was already 30 with a 3 and 6 year old and felt that the adoption process could take long enough that it would make our kids age gap very vast and me very old (not really old but you know what I mean). I had prayed and prayed that we would get pregnant and it still wasn’t happening. I was so thankful that I already had 2 happy, healthy kiddos who were miracles by all accounts anyhow, that I began trying to accept that this was God’s plan, we were to be a family of 4……even though I still had that longing deep inside for a 3rd.
Our feelings of having a 3rd baby didn’t let up, so a few months later we decided that it was time to get help. I went to the doctor who said because of my female health issues (all due to eating disorders) I could try the drug clomid at the highest level for 3 months BUT if it didn’t work (and they weren’t optimistic that it would) we would have to go to a fertility specialist. We both decided that if the clomid didn’t work, we would just continue to relish in the blessed family that we already were.
I started clomid the first of the year, January 2005. I did the first round in January and waited. The first week of February arrived and it was time to find out if it worked. I went in for the typical blood work and came home to wait for the results. By this point I was praying daily, that God would either allow us to conceive or take away my longing for a child that I just couldn’t have.
One afternoon shortly after that blood draw appointment, the phone rang and it was the doctor. The blood results were back and I didn’t ovulate, in other words the first month of the drug didn’t work. I was devastated!!!!
The doctor basically said that we have 2 rounds left but considering I’m on the highest dose and didn’t even ovulate, the odds weren’t good that it was going to work. They scheduled a time for me to come in, in order for them to give me a shot that would jump start a period so I could start round 2.
I was home alone as my boys were at school and I called my husband choking back tears, or maybe I was sobbing into the phone when I called him, I can’t remember because I was too devastated, to tell him what the doctor had said. As I hung up the phone I was walking through the family room and the 700 Club was on the TV. I usually watched it every afternoon (or rather listened to it as I cleaned and did the normal stay-at-home-mom things) so it being on was nothing unusual. What was unusual ~ no let me rephrase that, it was GOD not odd (unusual) ~ is that as I was crying and talking to God about taking this longing away, Pat Roberston said that we was going to pray for a woman who was trying to conceive! WHAT!
I stopped right there in the living room not believing the timing of this message! He started talking about how God was opening up this mother’s barren womb just as He had done for Sara. I fell to my knees, claimed this prayer/message and began crying out to God that I accept His grace and faithfulness however I did tell Him that I didn’t want to be in my 90’s when I conceive this miracle child, like Sara was. This was a Thursday…..
Remember, I was scheduled to go in sometime the next week to get a jump start shot that would make me have a period so round 2 could begin. On Sunday night I went to the store, again not unusual. As I was in the health department I found myself in the pregnancy test aisle. I felt this urge to pick one up…..REALLY why would I do this to myself? I had blood work done just a week ago, I didn’t ovulate, I couldn’t be pregnant……so I buy one (crazy huh).
I get home put some groceries away and see the test in the bag. I sneak into the bathroom, not telling anyone what I had bought and you know, I peepee on the stick. I set it down and went back to the kitchen to continue putting things away.
With my heart in a frenzy, I sneak back into the bathroom and look at the stick…….WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! There are 2 very faint lines! Well I start yelling at my husband “Do you see them, those are 2 lines right?””Yep” he says “but how in the world”. I can’t contain myself so I call my mom, “I’m coming over to show you something.”
I get to my mom’s and sure enough she sees it too. BUT I don’t stop there, I still need clarification that I’m not seeing things because you know the first 2 sets of eyes that already CONFIRMED what I thought I saw wasn’t getting it through my head. I head over to a girlfriends house and show her as well. Yep she sees it too! HOLY CROW, I’m pregnant!
First thing the next morning, I call the doctor (thank God it was a Monday and they were open) and tell them that they are going to think I’m crazy but I took a test that said I’m pregnant. The nurse said “Well that isn’t really possible since you didn’t ovulate BUT go ahead and come in. We’ll do a blood pregnancy test.”
I go in to the office, have some lab work done and sit waiting in the room. The nurse comes in first “Well this is strange because the lab work indicates that you are pregnant.” The doctor then comes in, reads the chart and looks right at me and says “I’m stumped, there is no explanation for how this happened because you didn’t ovulate according to your labs. Anyway, I guess there isn’t a need to continue fertility treatment appointments……..we’ll schedule you for OB appointments instead.”
I talk a bit with both the nurse and doctor about what is going on and they tell me how truly miraculous this whole thing is. They explained to me that if I hadn’t taken that home pregnancy test on my own, (because they certainly wouldn’t have given me a pregnancy test before giving me the jump start shot as there wasn’t a reason to believe I was pregnant ~ as a matter of fact, they were sure I wasn’t pregnant) if I had gotten that shot, it would have aborted the baby that no one knew I was carrying! Oh My Goodness, I couldn’t even fathom that thought ~ Yes This Was A True Miracle!!
God is beyond Good! Think about how many times He gives us nudges to do something and how many times have we ignored them? This is a case that had I ignored the prompting to buy that pregnancy test, and mind you I had no reason to be in the pregnancy test aisle that Sunday night anyway, we wouldn’t have our Eme.
So with October 12th just a few days away ~ I want to shout out a Happy Birthday to our Miraculous soon-to-be 8 year old daughter! I want to share with you that God is still on the throne performing miracles everyday, giving us the deepest desires of our hearts everyday, and doing “usual” things in an “unusual” way everyday!
(And how “unusual” that that miracle pregnancy produced a girl ~ just want my dad thought we needed after 2 boys and yes he was right, she was exactly what we needed to make our family complete!)